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Writer's pictureAl Huntoon

The Rollercoaster of Coparenting: A Personal Reflection


Rollercoaster representing the ups and downs of coparenting

As a passionate advocate for coparenting support and a coparent myself, I know all too well the rollercoaster of emotions and challenges that come with parenting from separate homes. It's a wild ride filled with highs and lows, triumphs and setbacks. Above all, the love of our children and an unwavering commitment to their well-being shines through. 


Fraught with uncertainties and heartaches, coparenting has been quite a journey for me. From navigating the typical day-to-day challenges of raising kids to managing schedules during holidays and special occasions, every step of the way has been a learning experience. Yet amid the chaos and confusion, one aspect of coparenting that often weighed heavily on my heart  - a sense of loneliness.


Despite the support of a loving wife, family, and friends, coparenting could be a lonely road. There's a unique feeling of isolation that can come with navigating the challenges of shared parenting. The complexities of parenting are multiplied by the complications of custody arrangements, and there is an ever-present feeling of “winging it” as you go along.


In my search for guidance and support, I leaned heavily on my loved ones and sometimes turned to the internet for help. However, I encountered countless roadblocks, especially the frustrating lack of resources and professionals specializing in coparenting dynamics. 


For example, thousands of new custody cases arise annually in North Carolina, yet the legal process often overshadows the immense emotional and relational challenges of coparenting. While the courts and the legal system provide valuable support for navigating the legal aspects, a critical gap exists in addressing the emotional dimensions.  This leaves coparents largely on their own to manage these crucial, but often overlooked, aspects of coparenting.


It wasn’t until I became a child custody mediator that I fully understood the power of expert support for people struggling with the responsibility of coparenting effectively. As a mediator, I threw myself into learning all I could about coparenting, but the most valuable teacher was the coparents themselves. Hearing their stories, helping them grapple with the most challenging circumstances, working through options, and cooperatively crafting plans for a better future transformed me.  


The experience opened my eyes to the transformative power of expert support. Witnessing countless coparents improve their communication and cooperation with the help of expert guidance ignited my passion for advocating for more accessible support.


As I reflect on my experiences and those of countless coparents worldwide, I'm reminded of the urgent need for accessible and comprehensive support. Coparenting is a beautiful yet complex journey, and the lack of accessible support can leave us feeling lost and alone. It's time we shine a light on this pressing issue and advocate for expert guidance and support systems for coparents everywhere. It isn't just about helping parents; it's about creating a brighter future for children. Together, we can make a difference.


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